I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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