To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
