make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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