i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
