Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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