I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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