i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
