Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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