She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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