I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
