Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
