I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
