look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
