i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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