why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
