first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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