im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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