so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
