even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
