So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
