if you like me you must not know who I am
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
