sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
