Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.

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(515): View more from Iowa

brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people

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(815): View more from Illinois

I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(386): View more from Florida

Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...

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(770): View more from Georgia

I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard

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(415): View more from California

I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go

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