Texts From Last Night

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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.

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  (219): Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal. http://tfl.nu/m4sr
  Replies (14) Good night (976) Bad night (5565)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me

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  (978): we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me http://tfl.nu/ax47
  Replies (12) Good night (3269) Bad night (650)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.

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  (732): That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on. http://tfl.nu/n5bj
  Replies (20) Good night (5030) Bad night (2262)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  we turned his baptism video into a drinking game

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  (425): we turned his baptism video into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/gtee
  Replies (18) Good night (4573) Bad night (1401)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before

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  (404): I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before http://tfl.nu/47j4
  Replies (16) Good night (3859) Bad night (1433)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.

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  (843): I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you. http://tfl.nu/lcu4
  Replies (11) Good night (1158) Bad night (4499)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.

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  (715): Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day. http://tfl.nu/c6jk
  Replies (11) Good night (2139) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.

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  (937): so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency. http://tfl.nu/1ixd
  Replies (3) Good night (2066) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.

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  (415): There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight. http://tfl.nu/58zb
  Replies (8) Good night (927) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Tiny.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.

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  (402): Tiny. (402): I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed. http://tfl.nu/6vga
  Replies (8) Good night (1612) Bad night (793)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.

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  (410): I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex. http://tfl.nu/2gjc
  Replies (7) Good night (1289) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on

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  (701): I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on http://tfl.nu/r00x
  Replies (2) Good night (1178) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.

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  (216): For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy. (1-216): Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry. http://tfl.nu/kldv
  Replies (9) Good night (523) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.

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  (260): I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then. http://tfl.nu/hywk
  Replies (3) Good night (529) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"

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  (210): Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices" http://tfl.nu/vw0e
  Replies (1) Good night (294) Bad night (136)

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