Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Sponge bath it is.

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  (319): Sponge bath it is. http://tfl.nu/r4q1
  Replies (2) Good night (1060) Bad night (537)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.

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  (904): Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight. http://tfl.nu/aofb
  Replies (11) Good night (771) Bad night (3775)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm in love

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  (484): I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue (484): I'm in love http://tfl.nu/im8q
  Replies (5) Good night (3578) Bad night (572)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.

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  (573): shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls. http://tfl.nu/v89m
  Replies (38) Good night (1698) Bad night (4128)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.

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  (832): i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml. http://tfl.nu/k21j
  Replies (21) Good night (948) Bad night (3911)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex

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  (661): We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex http://tfl.nu/uikr
  Replies (23) Good night (882) Bad night (7560)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.

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  (415): And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked. http://tfl.nu/8nhm
  Replies (45) Good night (5578) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?

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  (513): I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means? http://tfl.nu/ni5g
  Replies (12) Good night (4136) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early

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  (914): hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early http://tfl.nu/k8sh
  Replies (9) Good night (3051) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else

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  (207): we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else http://tfl.nu/gty0
  Replies (5) Good night (1469) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.

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  (435): Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender. http://tfl.nu/assa
  Replies (4) Good night (1048) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar

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  (651): I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar http://tfl.nu/y23q
  Replies (4) Good night (754) Bad night (386)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?

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  (512): Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen? http://tfl.nu/ijzr
  Replies (3) Good night (1099) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (863): View more from Florida

  I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.

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  (863): I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever. http://tfl.nu/l0yy
  Replies (4) Good night (590) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night

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  (620): Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night http://tfl.nu/e9ja
  Replies (1) Good night (595) Bad night (303)

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