I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really