It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
