Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin

  (914): View more from New York

  and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston

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  (201): you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin (914): and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston http://tfl.nu/bnxc
  Replies (3) Good night (2113) Bad night (602)
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  (323): View more from California

  my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.

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  (323): my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation. http://tfl.nu/m27j
  Replies (9) Good night (718) Bad night (3695)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?

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  (860): she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that? http://tfl.nu/vpzp
  Replies (12) Good night (2552) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!

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  (763): that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her! http://tfl.nu/ypk8
  Replies (48) Good night (4580) Bad night (489)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning

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  (949): The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning http://tfl.nu/sax1
  Replies (35) Good night (612) Bad night (4947)
• Favorite

  (778): View more from British Columbia

  tonight, alcohol would be proud of us

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  (778): tonight, alcohol would be proud of us http://tfl.nu/7h3d
  Replies (10) Good night (4979) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  fuck your aforementioned shoe

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  (760): fuck your aforementioned shoe http://tfl.nu/6ubu
  Replies (27) Good night (4472) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day

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  (478): I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day http://tfl.nu/i2uc
  Replies (10) Good night (4336) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.

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  (856): there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread. http://tfl.nu/6f5w
  Replies (28) Good night (4181) Bad night (1361)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.

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  (415): Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt. http://tfl.nu/r5l2
  Replies (10) Good night (2398) Bad night (1116)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again

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  (816): Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again http://tfl.nu/gicy
  Replies (6) Good night (3385) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either

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  (715): My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either http://tfl.nu/7c24
  Replies (7) Good night (3056) Bad night (997)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.

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  (405): I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society. http://tfl.nu/cbw1
  Replies (19) Good night (736) Bad night (1174)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).

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  (719): She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree). http://tfl.nu/fkun
  Replies (7) Good night (921) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??

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  (613): Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea?? http://tfl.nu/5r0c
  Replies (13) Good night (562) Bad night (350)

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