that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.