Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
