So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
