If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize