I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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