Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
