the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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