3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
