Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
