he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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