you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The struggles of a small town man whore
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
