Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
