as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
