Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
