Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
