did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
