so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize