I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
