im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
