My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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