the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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