I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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