I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
