We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
