I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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