I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
