Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
True but thats because hes a fetus.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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