this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
