I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
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