I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
