Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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