i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
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think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying