I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
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I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.