You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize