I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize