hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
