You're completely useless in the revolution.
4 words: hood of his car
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I think your dad took our porno
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
