just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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