Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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