office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
